Angel of Mine
by KatarnX2B
Summary: Misato makes "special" brownies. ^_^


***************************************  
Title: Angel Of Mine.  
Author: Jonathan "Katarn" Gaters  
E-mail: KatarnX2B@NetZero.net  
Date: 5-24-00  
Reason: What? I need a reason?  
***************************************  
  
***************************************  
Public Service Anouncement:  
  
Hungry people. Stray dogs. Put it   
together and you've got Spam!  
  
Spam, the solution for world hunger.  
***************************************  
  
SCENE: The Kitchen of the Katsuragi Residence. Misato is wearing an   
apron and oven mits along with her normal, next to nothing, houseware.   
She is pulling a large baking tin of brownies out of the oven. Strewn   
about the counter are the tools and inredients she used in the   
preparation of the delectable treats; a mixing bowl and a hand mixer,   
already licked clean, flour, sugar, cocoa, milk, butter, a half empty   
bag of almonds, a half empty bottle of Rum, although the recipie only   
called for a tablespoon, and a large zip-lock baggie that has been   
completely emptied of all of its contents.  
  
  
Misato: Mmmmm, good thing Asuka and Shin-chan are at NERV. Hate for them  
to get there hands on _these_ treats.  
  
(Misato laughs quietly at her own joke and places the tin on the  
counter to cool.)  
  
Misato: (Notices the half full bottle of Rum. She suddenly gains   
Pre-cognitive abilities and sees the bottle as empty) ...  
  
Rum: *GULP*  
  
Misato: This is a sign. I must fulfill this prophecy. It is my destiny.  
  
(Misato takes the soon-to-be-empty bottle of Rum and makes for   
her room while the brownies.)  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Shinji is walking home from NERV headquarters alone thinking to   
himself.  
  
Shinji: (Thinking) Man, I didn't know hiccuping in LCL had such adverse   
side effects. Man that got ugly fast. God I hope Ayanami's all right.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Katsuragi residence. Shinji has just entered through the front   
door.  
  
Shinji: Tadaima [I'm home]. Misato-san?  
  
(Shinji meanders to his gaurdian's room and cracks the door. He   
sees her passed out on her bed with a fresh empty bottle of Rum in her   
arms.)  
  
Shinji: (quiety to himself) Sin m fubar [Situation is Normal. Misato's   
Fucked Up Beond All Recognition].  
  
(Shinji shuts the door to "Misato's Den", as he thinks of it,   
and proceeds to the kitchen to see if there's anything to eat. When he   
reaches the kitchen, he is flabbergasted when he sees the mess left for   
him by the Major.)  
  
Shinji: Damn. Oh well, I'll get this stuff later.  
  
(Shinji notices the brownies in the tin.)  
  
Shinji: Misato cooked these? Impossible! They smell good!  
  
(An idea forms in Shinji's head.)  
  
Shinji: Maybe Ayanami would like some! I'll take some to Asuka over at   
Hikari's too.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Shinji is outside Ayanami's apartment. As always, there is   
construction going on close by.  
  
(Shinji doesn't bother to knock, altough he does anounce his   
presence.)  
  
Shinji: Ayanami? I'm coming in.  
  
(Shinji brushes past all the junk mail overflowing in the   
entrance way and removes his shoes.)  
  
Ayanami: Ikari-kun.  
  
Shinji: Ojamashimasu [May I come in]?  
  
Ayanami: ...  
  
Shinji: Are you feeling any better?  
  
Ayanami: Hai [yes]. (Thinking) He reminds me of the Commander.  
  
Shinji: I brought you some brownies.  
  
(Rei takes the foil rapped brownies from Shinji's hands, staring  
at them strangely.)  
  
Ayanami: Domo arigato [formal thanks]. (Thinking) Does he want something  
from me?  
  
Shinji: Well, I've got to go. Goodbye, Ayanami-san.  
  
Ayanami: Goodbye, Ikari-kun.  
  
(Shinji makes for the door. A little while later the sound of   
the door squealing open and grinding shut on it's hinges is heard.)  
  
Ayanami: ...  
  
(Rei opens one of the foil packages and takes a bite.)  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Shinji is outside the Horaki residence. Shinji is just outside   
the doorway, while Hikari is in the doorway talking to Shinji.  
  
Shinji: I brought some brownies.  
  
Hikari: Thank you Ikari-kun. Come in please.  
  
Shinji: Umm. Okay. (Thinking) Asuka won't let me hear the end of this.  
  
(Shinji enters the Horaki residence and removes his shoes.)  
  
Shinji: Which way is your kitchen?  
  
Hikari: Go straight through the dining room. I'm going to go get Asuka   
out of my room.  
  
Shinji: Thank you. (Thinking) Must get away from Asuka! *MUST* get away   
from Asuka!  
  
(Unfortunately for Shinji, the kitchen didn't lead to the back   
door.)  
  
Shinji: (Thinking) I'm dead. I'm sooo dead. No. Worse. I'm alive. I'm   
alive and Asuka's going to slowly dismember me.  
  
(Asuka sticks her head in through the door.)  
  
Asuka: Hey Shinji.  
  
Shinji: Um... heh heh... brownie?  
  
Asuka: Sure.  
  
Shinji: Where's Hikari (Thinking) Hikari will keep Asuka from quartering  
me long enough to go.  
  
Asuka: She had to take a call from the teacher about something or other.  
(Thinking) She can't save you Third Children.  
  
(Asuka takes a bite from her brownie)  
  
-- 3 minutes later  
  
Asuka: Hey Shinji, these brownies are pretty good. Where'd you get the   
recipe?  
  
Shinji: I didn't make them. Misato did.  
  
Asuka: That's impossible.  
  
Shinji: Why?  
  
Asuka: Their edible.  
  
Shinji/Asuka: Hahahahahahaha!  
  
Asuka/Shinji: HAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!  
  
(Hikari chooses this time to walk in.)  
  
Hikari: What's so funny.  
  
Shinji: Ummmm...  
  
Askua: Uhhhh...  
  
Shinji: (Starting to laugh again) I can't remember! HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Asuka: (Joining in the laughter) Niether can I! HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHA!  
  
Hikari: *Blink*... *Blink* *Blink*  
  
Shinji: (With tears in his eyes) Brownie?  
  
--2 minutes later  
  
Shinji: You know... if there was no money, then no one would be poor!  
  
Asuka: You know... you're right!  
  
Hikari: Yeah maybe you should be the Prime Minister.  
  
Asuka: All hail Prime Minister Shinji.  
  
(Yet more pointless luaghter followed.)  
  
--4 minutes later  
  
Shinji: I wonder what happened to Ayanami?  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Gendo's office.  
  
Gendo: Rei!  
  
Rei: WEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Gendo: (In an authoritive voice) Stop this at once Rei.  
  
Rei: No! Wanna _SPIIIN_!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
(Rei continued to hold onto the Commander's arms as she swung   
them both arond in circles in the Commander's office.)  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Horaki residence.  
  
Asuka: Maybe she's having sex with your father!  
  
Hikari: ASUKA!  
  
Asuka: Yeah! I bet she's giving him head *right* *now*!  
  
Shinji: (Holds back a laugh) *Snicker*  
  
Shinji: (Fails miserably) HAHAHAHAA!!  
  
Hikari: (Giggling like a school girl on... oh... wait) That's not funny.  
  
Asuka: (Wiping the tears forming in her eyes) You're right!  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: The day after. Shinji's room. Both The Third and Second Children   
are under the covers. Neither appear to be wearing clothes.  
  
Shinji: (Waking up) Mmmm...  
  
Asuka: (Waking up) *YAWN*  
  
(Shinji and Asuka open their eyes at the same time. Their eyes   
meet.)  
  
Shinji: ...  
  
Asuka: ...  
  
Shinji/Asuka: (Deep breath!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
(They both shoot to opposite sides of the bed, panting hard.)  
  
Shinji: ...  
  
Asuka: ...  
  
(Author's Note: Weed is better than alcohol because, although it impairs  
the short term memory, it leaves the long term memory in tact. It was   
also proved healthier than either tabacco or alcohol in a supressed   
World Health Orginization study.)  
  
Shinji: What happened here?  
  
Asuka: Um... I remember brownies... then feeding them to goats at the   
zoo... then...  
  
Shinji: (Lifts the covers a crack and looks down at his crotch) AAAAAAA-  
AAAAAAHHHH!  
  
Asuka: (Without thinking, looks under the covers to see what caused   
Shinji to scream) WHAT?! What is it?!  
  
Shinji: It's deformed!! How many times _did_ we do it?!  
  
Asuka: (Counting) I count at least seventeen times. I'm not sure though.  
It could be more.  
  
Shinji: Good _GOD_ woman!  
  
Asuka: Hey! You were involed too, you know!  
  
(Asuka's facial experssion changes suddenly.)  
  
Shinji: (Noticing Asuka's change of expression) What?  
  
Asuka: (With a sly grin) Eighteen is luckier...  
  
Shinji: (No longer thinking with his big head) I would hate to be   
unlucky.  
  
Asuka: Wait. Damnit!  
  
Shinji: What?  
  
Asuka: We have synch test in two hours!  
  
Shinji: Damn! Couldn't we get Rei to hiccup again?  
  
Asuka: I've got a better idea.  
  
Shinji: What?  
  
Asuka: We give Dr. Akagi and the Commander some brownies.  
  
Shinji: But Misato took the last of the bwornies into her room last   
night!  
  
Asuka: She couldn't have eaten all those! She probably put them in her   
liquor cabinet.  
  
Shinji: ... Why does she need a liquor cabinet when seventy percent of   
the refrigerator is alcohol?  
  
Asuka: For when she's too drunk to make it that far.  
  
Shinji: What if it's locked?  
  
Asuka: Don't worry, she doesn't lock it, otherwise she wouldn't be able   
to open it when she's drunk.  
  
Shinji: ... How do you know that?  
  
Asuka: Don't ask questions, just go with it!  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SCENE: Central Dogma. Eva cage 6. All the normal staff are there. Shinji  
and Asuka enter.  
  
Ritsuko: Right on time. If you'd just hop into the test plugs, we can   
get started.  
  
(Shinji looked around and noticed that Rei was absent.)  
  
Shinji: Where's Ayanami?  
  
Ritsuko: She's currently undergoing Psychiatric evaluation.  
  
Shinji: Why?  
  
Ritsuko: Last night she painted the town red.  
  
Asuka: I know Wondergirl is a little on the hermit side, but just   
because she decided to get a social life doesn't mean she's crazy.  
  
Ritsuko: No, you don't understand. She _literally_ painted the town red.  
She hijacked a fire truck, filled it with the paint we used for Unit-02,  
and painted twelve square blocks red.  
  
Shinji: ...  
  
Asuka: ...  
  
Ritsuko: If there's no other questions, please get proceed to the test   
plugs.  
  
Shinji: Sure.  
  
Asuka: Oh, I almost forgot! Have a brownie.  
  
--3 minutes later  
  
Ritsuko: *Snicker*  
  
Fuyutski: ???  
  
Ritsuko: *Snicker* *Snicker*  
  
Fuyutski: Is something wrong, doctor?  
  
(Ritsuko points at the screen before breaking into hysterical   
laughter and falling out her chair.)  
  
Maya: Sempai?!  
  
(Maya rushes over to Ritsuko's terminal and looks at the screen   
to find out what could possibly affect her sempai like this.)  
  
Maya: @_@  
  
Fuyutski: What does it say?  
  
Maya: "Rectal Monitor".  
  
All: *_*(;)  
  
Fuyutski: (Into a microphone) Commander, there is a slight situation in   
Cage 6.  
  
Gendo: (Decending on a lift) What is it Fuyutski-sensei?  
  
Fuyutski: (Points towards Ritsuko rolling on the floor laughing)  
  
Gendo: I see.  
  
(Gendo makes his way over to the good doctor's terminal)  
  
Gendo: *Snicker*... *Snicker* *Snicker*  
  
Maya: Commander?  
  
Gendo: (Breaking into hysterical laughter) It says, "Rectal Monitor"!!!  
  
All: @_@(;)  
  
Fuyutski: We should cancel this test. Don't you agree Major? Major?  
  
Misato: o/ I am the very model of a modern Major General... o/  
  
(Hysterical laughter follows.)  
  
Fuyutski: *Blink* Am I the only sane commanding officer here?  
  
Misato/Gendo/Ritsuko: Yep!  
  
(Yet even more hysterical laughter.)  
  
Ritsuko: Here! Have a brownie!  
  
Asuka: (Looks at Shinji's image in her plug) ... ^_^  
  
Shinji: (Looks at Asuka's image in his plug) ... ^_^  
  
Asuka/Shinji: BREW-HAHAAAAH! 


End file.
